I really love watching the dynamic of the two older boys as they get older and develop their own personalities. Ethan is very head strong but very sensitive to how others think and feel. He pushes the boundaries (he is only four mind you) but he is much more exploratory about it. Kind of like "Just how far can I push my mom before her head explodes" Not in a mean way but purely scientific. Caleb is pretty much the opposite. He has a great sense of humor and timing and really is pretty funny but his motivations are not nearly as cerebral as Ethan's are. It is more like "If I keep screaming like this Mom's head will explode. This will be awesome!"
The only thing that really comforts me is that they do it to other people as well....not just me. Ethan has become Caleb's favorite target as of late. He has figured out that if he just says the opposite of whatever Ethan says whether its true or not, Ethan will get irate and apparently that is really funny. Now here is where I have to actually take some of the blame for that. For a long time David and I have talked about how Ethan is much more like him emotionally and mentally and Caleb is like me. Ethan needs to have things exact and specific. Caleb just wants to have fun and get messy. Like I said, David and I have produced clones of ourselves. That being said..... it really is kind of funny when Caleb gets under Ethan's skin. Its very likely that if it is Ethan doing something to Caleb, it will drive me nuts but if Caleb's bugging Ethan, I have a bad habit of laughing. I'm an evil mom, I know, but Caleb just bugs Ethan in a way that is funny. Ok, starting to really look like a bad mom.
Ethan and I were playing his version of 20 questions which mainly consists of him asking about 20 thousand random questions that in no way are going to lead him to the conclusion of "what am I thinking of" He asked me something that was like
"Mom have you ever fallen out of a plane and splatted on the water?"
"No, I have not"
"Yeah, me neither"
CALEB: "I have"
ETHAN: "No you have not"
CALEB: "Yes I have"
ETHAN: "No you have not, because if you did you would have died and you are not dead so you have never fallen out of a plane" Very content look of satisfactorily winning the argument on his face
CALEB:"Yes I did, and then I walked home"
ETHAN: "Caleb, that is not true and its a lie and we don't lie in our family! Tell the truth and say you are sorry!"
CALEB: "It's true. I fall out of plane and land on the ground and I no die. I walk home and mom make me food"
At this point Ethan's head is the one that looks like it is going to explode. He cannot figure out how he can get Caleb to admit that he in fact did not fall out of a plane and magically walk home to breakfast. He looks at me and just starts crying. When I ask him what is going on, he says histarically
"Mom, Caleb thinks that he fell out of a plane and then got up and walked away and that is just not true. No one can do that because they would die and Caleb did not die so he couldn't have done that! Tell him that, that its not true and to say sorry for lying to me!"
Of course I want to support telling the truth and I don't want to take Ethan's feelings lightly but I am having a really hard time not laughing because this is totally the type of prank I would pull on my siblings and it might very well be morbid but I think its kind of funny.
ME:"Caleb, its not very nice to bug your brother. Saying that you fell out of a plane and splatted on the water and then walked home is really upsetting to him. Do you want to think about your story and maybe that it is not true?"
Caleb starts laughing and points at Ethan and talking about how he tricked him and "it so funny" Ethan gets really pissed and runs off to his room screaming something about "CALEB!"....... "NOT FUNNY".......... "BAD, BAD LIAR!" ........."DID NOT SPLATT!"
Caleb is still just muttering and chuckling to himself as he plays with some toys on the floor. My mind drifts off and I have a little day dream of a five year old David and a 3 year old Olivia playing in a toy room. Its not long before 5 year old David runs off yelling "I'm going to go tell my mom what you just said!!" and 3 year old Olivia continues to build her block castle and a sick little smile on her face.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
I am beginning to see a trend
Why there have been several posts lately pertaining to bodily functions and excretions, I am not sure. Its most likely due to the fact that I am surrounded on a daily basis by boys and it is genetically encoded in their DNA to be fascinated by such things. I'm still trying to figure out why I find it so funny but that seems to be a separate issue. So the trends I am seeing here are as follows. 1) my boys are very comfortable with farting and pooping and anything of the like and 2) I apparently spend way too much time in the bathroom where a whole lot of my stories are starting to come from.
I was yet again in the bathroom and I have started to find myself pretty frustrated that the boys have gotten themselves in sync with my potty time. Every flippin time I have to go to the bathroom they run in there demanding that I hurry and finish because they have to go. Me being the good mother that I am and more importantly than that don't want to have to clean up their mess hurry and get off so they can go. But you know what? I need my toilet time too. Whether I need it or not I should feel more than comfortable to take a minute or five to just sit there. Guys get their good 20 minutes in the morning, I am lucky if I get 20 minutes in a week. So I decided that the next one to come in declaring I be de-throned, I was going to politely decline and ask them to wait for me to be finished. Now I was not going to be excessively mean or anything and cause a scene because remember... I have to be the one to clean it up, but just long enough to hopefully start instilling in their heads that this was just not going to be tolerated anymore. It just had to be Caleb. The one I was a bit more concerned with making a scene anyway. I had just sat down to pee when he ran in, naked as a jay bird, saying.... something.... well, actually I am not sure what he said. I can't understand him most days and then he had this stuffed up nose which made his indiscernible garble all nasally, anyway I got the hint he needed to go and I told him to wait. He did actually pretty good until he "F"- worded (remember, we don't use that word) So I said,
"Excuse me, what do you say?" and sure enough without missing a beat and looking as though it were completely my fault that the squirrels in his butt started barking,
"See I told you I have to go, now you get off the potty?!"
Fine, whatever. But I will remember this when I am like 90 and having disturbing issues in my undergarments that my children will just have to deal with. Personally I am hoping I just roll over and die before I get to the point where I am crapping my own pants, but if I don't.... well, they are going to wish they had respected my bathroom time a little better because I don't care if you are Mother freaking Theresa.... ain't nobody want to clean up their poopy mom.
I was yet again in the bathroom and I have started to find myself pretty frustrated that the boys have gotten themselves in sync with my potty time. Every flippin time I have to go to the bathroom they run in there demanding that I hurry and finish because they have to go. Me being the good mother that I am and more importantly than that don't want to have to clean up their mess hurry and get off so they can go. But you know what? I need my toilet time too. Whether I need it or not I should feel more than comfortable to take a minute or five to just sit there. Guys get their good 20 minutes in the morning, I am lucky if I get 20 minutes in a week. So I decided that the next one to come in declaring I be de-throned, I was going to politely decline and ask them to wait for me to be finished. Now I was not going to be excessively mean or anything and cause a scene because remember... I have to be the one to clean it up, but just long enough to hopefully start instilling in their heads that this was just not going to be tolerated anymore. It just had to be Caleb. The one I was a bit more concerned with making a scene anyway. I had just sat down to pee when he ran in, naked as a jay bird, saying.... something.... well, actually I am not sure what he said. I can't understand him most days and then he had this stuffed up nose which made his indiscernible garble all nasally, anyway I got the hint he needed to go and I told him to wait. He did actually pretty good until he "F"- worded (remember, we don't use that word) So I said,
"Excuse me, what do you say?" and sure enough without missing a beat and looking as though it were completely my fault that the squirrels in his butt started barking,
"See I told you I have to go, now you get off the potty?!"
Fine, whatever. But I will remember this when I am like 90 and having disturbing issues in my undergarments that my children will just have to deal with. Personally I am hoping I just roll over and die before I get to the point where I am crapping my own pants, but if I don't.... well, they are going to wish they had respected my bathroom time a little better because I don't care if you are Mother freaking Theresa.... ain't nobody want to clean up their poopy mom.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Someone please tell me I'm not alone
I know that all kids are smart and creative and yady yady, but I feel like I am getting a bit out of my league here. I blame it on their father. I'm not sure exactly when my 4 year old turned 40 but this morning was the first time that I realized just how far out to sea I am.
Ethan has a really bad habit of biting his nails. I mean really bad. To the point I am getting a bit concerned he might permanently ruin his nails because he bites them beyond the quick. It kinda makes me sick actually. So David put the gauntlet down last night and said "No more. This is not something we are going to do anymore. If you need your nails trimmed than ask Mommy, but you will not bite your nails anymore" I was completely convinced. I stopped biting my nails right then and there and have been 12 hours sober since. I thought for sure that it would work for Ethan too. So this morning, I was sitting on the toilet thinking I might get 30 seconds to pee by myself if I was really quiet, when the siren rang out alerting the troops that I was "occupied" and my fan club came to cheer me on. Ethan put his hands up to his mouth and I said "No sir. we are not doing that anymore, remember?" That is when he looked at me and said
"Mom, don't worry about me ok? I'm almost 5 and I'm a big boy. I'm not a little baby. You don't wipe my butt anymore and I brush my own teeth so I got this. What are you going to do when I go to kindergarten? You can still tie my shoes because I can't yet, but you don't have to worry about me ok?"
Then of course the peanut gallery pipes in with
"Yeah mom, he big boy. Leave him 'lone, k? Please you be done so I go poo now"
Ok, so first off, what the crap does he mean by that "I got this". You are 4 and I am your mother so I tell you what you got. And secondly, so not fair! Not only didn't he just write me off because you know, "He's a big boy" but he had a wing man! I know I should be proud that my boys are looking out for each other but there should be some exclusion clause or something that makes it against the law to gang up on your mother. Especially when she is trying to pee! I think I need to start searching out other mothers that are completely outnumbered by their toddlers and start and abuse support group or something. I'm grateful for my smart, articulate and independent children. I would hate to have stupid, clingy kids who still want me to wash out their skid marks at age 35 but can't I have some ramp up time or something????
Ethan has a really bad habit of biting his nails. I mean really bad. To the point I am getting a bit concerned he might permanently ruin his nails because he bites them beyond the quick. It kinda makes me sick actually. So David put the gauntlet down last night and said "No more. This is not something we are going to do anymore. If you need your nails trimmed than ask Mommy, but you will not bite your nails anymore" I was completely convinced. I stopped biting my nails right then and there and have been 12 hours sober since. I thought for sure that it would work for Ethan too. So this morning, I was sitting on the toilet thinking I might get 30 seconds to pee by myself if I was really quiet, when the siren rang out alerting the troops that I was "occupied" and my fan club came to cheer me on. Ethan put his hands up to his mouth and I said "No sir. we are not doing that anymore, remember?" That is when he looked at me and said
"Mom, don't worry about me ok? I'm almost 5 and I'm a big boy. I'm not a little baby. You don't wipe my butt anymore and I brush my own teeth so I got this. What are you going to do when I go to kindergarten? You can still tie my shoes because I can't yet, but you don't have to worry about me ok?"
Then of course the peanut gallery pipes in with
"Yeah mom, he big boy. Leave him 'lone, k? Please you be done so I go poo now"
Ok, so first off, what the crap does he mean by that "I got this". You are 4 and I am your mother so I tell you what you got. And secondly, so not fair! Not only didn't he just write me off because you know, "He's a big boy" but he had a wing man! I know I should be proud that my boys are looking out for each other but there should be some exclusion clause or something that makes it against the law to gang up on your mother. Especially when she is trying to pee! I think I need to start searching out other mothers that are completely outnumbered by their toddlers and start and abuse support group or something. I'm grateful for my smart, articulate and independent children. I would hate to have stupid, clingy kids who still want me to wash out their skid marks at age 35 but can't I have some ramp up time or something????
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