Warning: Graphic attention to poop and profanity

Ye have been warned. This one is loaded so if my title didn't scare you off and the promise of underage swearing doesn't sway you, then you might be in for the laugh of your day. It certainly was mine.

It's been cold and snowy for a while here on "the bench" and therefore I have let the doggy doo duty slide a little (ok a lot) and it had really "piled" up. (Bear with me, the poo puns really are endless and well..... I have no shame) Caleb was begging to go play outside and I had been putting him off because I knew that there was no way I was going to let loose the master of all that is clumsy and gross into a backyard full of shite. After he had adorned his self with plaid shorts, green and black horizontally striped shirt, orange hoody complete with baseball cap underneath said hood, my pink fuzzy socks and his blue and teal snow boots, he proceeded to "promise mama whole lot I know step in poo" It was nice outside and I had really no excuse not to go outside with my children other than I had gotten a spur in my saddle and was organizing the shoe and coat catastrophe in the living room corner. Good mama won. I got on my chartreuse coat and clogs and headed for the back door. I have no idea where my children get their sense of fashion.

Picking up dog poop has just got to be the grossest freaking thing on the planet and this is coming from a mother of 3 boys. I love our dog but I tell ya if there was a way to not have clean up her crap all the time, there is not much I wouldn't pay. The only thing grosser than picking it up with a shovel is scraping it off #2's brand new running shoes he got for his birthday. So baby in one arm and shovel in the other hand, I order Numero Uno to grab the poop bucket and off we went. I have a really bad habit of letting my mouth get a little filthy when I am upset or stressed or I am trying to be funny because.... I think swearing is funny, and well in the steaming heat of the moment I gasped out something that I tried to conceal under my breath but sounded a lot like "Ugh, I hate dog $%#@" I should know better than to hope that would go un-noticed and un-mimicked so how it caught me by surprise when a few minutes later Ethan admired the size, shape and color of Layla's after math with a "Holy crap that is a lot of shit!" I will never know, but unfortunately.... I find swearing really funny and I couldn't help but bust out laughing. Which of course encouraged Batman's faithful side kick to pipe in dancing around like lord of the poop flies complete with every aspiring artists wardrobe of choice singing "whole lot of shit, whole lot of shit" It just went all down hill from there because apparently the baby being even more like his mother than a 7 month old should be, busted out laughing as well. So for the recap, I have taught my number one son to swear like a sailor, Caleb "thinks he can dance" and it looks like I can count on my infant to be in my corner the next time I go on one of my "Mommy's worst moments revealed"