Monday, October 19, 2015
My Facebook dilemma
I have gotten a little wiered out with all the Facebook security measures changing constantly and what exactly all that means in regards to posting pictures of my children. Hoping that my secure blog will be safer to post things but also be a means to share pictures and funny with people that don't get to see them often, I attempt to resurrect my venting spot......
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Tis the season to be grateful
I've seen lots of people posting on Facebook lately the things they are grateful for. This is a practice that I think is great but the blaring fog horn that is a FB status bothers me sometimes. I'm not even sure why I get on there, other than the fact that I have figured out its likely I have voyeuristic tendencies, but I do go on FB and when I see all these posts, the cynical side of me comes out and the comics in my head go to town. But I really do believe in being grateful and stating what you are grateful often. How else is the universe supposed to know what more to give you if you don't give it some feedback.
"Ah yes, I really enjoyed the free car wash I received from my over priced oil change yesterday, that was nice. Loved the clearance prices on chicken at the store the other night---Awesome. However, the mouse that I found running across the floor of my office as I flipped on the switch this morning..... yeah, that I could do without, thanks"
So because I believe in stating what you are grateful for, I am choosing to write a posting instead of a status update. Probably because as much as I hate just going with the crowd there is a secret part of me that just wants people to like me, and think I am cool, and an even littler part of me (however still present) that wants people to know how freaking awesome my life is.
So here is a list of 10 things I'm grateful for
1. Naturally ---my husband. Through thick and thin, he has always loved me. He's not always liked me... but I don't doubt his love for me. And that's huge because sometimes I'm a bitch, and I can imagine how hard that is to love.
2. My kids. They make me laugh everyday. And sometimes make me scream. But I love them so much it hurts. Best decision ever. Also freaking hardest thing on Earth
3. My job. Its hard. Its complicated. Its even a little bit boring, but I can pay the bills every month and that saves me a lot of bounced checks
4. My house. Its pretty much awesome
5. Toilet paper. Can't be grateful enough for toilet paper. Probably shouldn't go into much why.
6. My cars. Yep two. We have two cars that are functional (although not all are currently registered) and that is something that I think a lot of people take for granted. I know I do. We only had one (and for a while none) and having 2 cars is awesome
7. My voice. I recently lost my voice and while I am happy to say that I am slowly finding it again, we are going on a solid 5 days of not being able to sing along to the radio and sounding like a pre-pubesent boy and.... its getting old.
8. My kids school. I went to a parent meeting last night and while I came out of it rather frustrated and kind of pissed with some things, I know they are things I can do something about and don't need to just sit in my stew of nasty thoughts and feelings. After listening to my sisters and the problems they have with their schools, I know I have a voice (however froggy at the moment) and can make changes. That is huge for me.
9. My dishwasher. I'm not sure I could ever choose just one thing to have on a deserted island with me so I would choose lots and one of the things I would choose would be a dishwasher. It makes all the coconut margarita bowls I would be cleaning the morning after a totally sweet beach party not as daunting.
10. Spell check. Because of spell check my lacking spelling skills no longer have to haunt me and I don't always look like an idiot because I don't know how to spell "definitely" despite the many numonic devices out there.
There are so many things I take for granted on a daily basis. Even though they are often glanced over, I'm happy to take the time to call out each one and thank it for its presence in my life. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!
"Ah yes, I really enjoyed the free car wash I received from my over priced oil change yesterday, that was nice. Loved the clearance prices on chicken at the store the other night---Awesome. However, the mouse that I found running across the floor of my office as I flipped on the switch this morning..... yeah, that I could do without, thanks"
So because I believe in stating what you are grateful for, I am choosing to write a posting instead of a status update. Probably because as much as I hate just going with the crowd there is a secret part of me that just wants people to like me, and think I am cool, and an even littler part of me (however still present) that wants people to know how freaking awesome my life is.
So here is a list of 10 things I'm grateful for
1. Naturally ---my husband. Through thick and thin, he has always loved me. He's not always liked me... but I don't doubt his love for me. And that's huge because sometimes I'm a bitch, and I can imagine how hard that is to love.
2. My kids. They make me laugh everyday. And sometimes make me scream. But I love them so much it hurts. Best decision ever. Also freaking hardest thing on Earth
3. My job. Its hard. Its complicated. Its even a little bit boring, but I can pay the bills every month and that saves me a lot of bounced checks
4. My house. Its pretty much awesome
5. Toilet paper. Can't be grateful enough for toilet paper. Probably shouldn't go into much why.
6. My cars. Yep two. We have two cars that are functional (although not all are currently registered) and that is something that I think a lot of people take for granted. I know I do. We only had one (and for a while none) and having 2 cars is awesome
7. My voice. I recently lost my voice and while I am happy to say that I am slowly finding it again, we are going on a solid 5 days of not being able to sing along to the radio and sounding like a pre-pubesent boy and.... its getting old.
8. My kids school. I went to a parent meeting last night and while I came out of it rather frustrated and kind of pissed with some things, I know they are things I can do something about and don't need to just sit in my stew of nasty thoughts and feelings. After listening to my sisters and the problems they have with their schools, I know I have a voice (however froggy at the moment) and can make changes. That is huge for me.
9. My dishwasher. I'm not sure I could ever choose just one thing to have on a deserted island with me so I would choose lots and one of the things I would choose would be a dishwasher. It makes all the coconut margarita bowls I would be cleaning the morning after a totally sweet beach party not as daunting.
10. Spell check. Because of spell check my lacking spelling skills no longer have to haunt me and I don't always look like an idiot because I don't know how to spell "definitely" despite the many numonic devices out there.
There are so many things I take for granted on a daily basis. Even though they are often glanced over, I'm happy to take the time to call out each one and thank it for its presence in my life. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!
Sometimes you just got to bite the bullet
This seems so foreign to me. Sitting down to write. Like I said in my description... the pressure. It has been my nemesis, but I have chosen to rise above the pressure. I have a fan club after all. People who looked forward to my musings and for some reason or another, find them enjoyable. So it is for my fans I write this post. For those who have stuck with me through feast and famine. Hilarious posts and the hiatus that followed. This is for you.
Huh....I guess that's it.
Huh....I guess that's it.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
A Public Marketer in the making
My kids are too much for me sometimes that I just bust up laughing when I should probably be ashamed of what just came out of their mouth. We were watching t.v. (all of my hippy friends....please don't judge me....I like America's Got Talent) and unfortunately we have to deal with icky nasty commercials that normally I mute so my poor children's ears do not have to be defiled and most likely brainwashed with some corporate schemes that influence them make poor choices that are profitable to the big wigs of the big box but I was distracted and a couple of them got through. Ethan runs over to me and Caleb in the kitchen and yells
"Caleb, you won't believe what I just heard. You can get one medium pizza, 10 bread sticks with their own icing cup, along with bread sticks and pizza sauce all for only $10 and its only at Pizza Hut. Can you believe that?!"
Caleb: "Wow. T'at is so tool! .....Mama!..... You got ten buts? We t'ould det some pizza! Is tat a drate idea??? Ethan!......tome here and tell mom tat a drate idea!!!! I LOVE PIZZA!!!!"
They were pretty bummed when I told them they needed to settle with home grown tomato and basil with fresh motz on whole wheat sandwiches but fortunately an Arby's commercial came on to distract them and teach them all about "Good Mood Food" My poor children. The ones who call McDonalds the "big M place with chicken nuggets"
"Caleb, you won't believe what I just heard. You can get one medium pizza, 10 bread sticks with their own icing cup, along with bread sticks and pizza sauce all for only $10 and its only at Pizza Hut. Can you believe that?!"
Caleb: "Wow. T'at is so tool! .....Mama!..... You got ten buts? We t'ould det some pizza! Is tat a drate idea??? Ethan!......tome here and tell mom tat a drate idea!!!! I LOVE PIZZA!!!!"
They were pretty bummed when I told them they needed to settle with home grown tomato and basil with fresh motz on whole wheat sandwiches but fortunately an Arby's commercial came on to distract them and teach them all about "Good Mood Food" My poor children. The ones who call McDonalds the "big M place with chicken nuggets"
Friday, August 19, 2011
An oldy but a goody
So this happened a while ago but I haven't been wanting to write lately for some reason. But I certainly thinks that it is worthy of a little posting.
So I had just finished planting the rest of my plants in the garden which took my a while longer than expected but whatever. Anyway, the boys were of course out there helping me and Ethan piped up with
"That's a damn fine good looking garden you got there Mama."
Why yes, yes it is.....however.....
"Thank you son. I agree with you. It is a damn fine good looking garden but I don't think that is a word someone of your age and size should be using. Do you think that you could find a way to say that, that is a little more appropriate?"
He pauses to think and you can see he is really trying.
"Hmmm..... I think the garden looks really nice?????"
"Very good" :)
We agreed that when he gets to be a bit taller he can try using that word again to see if its something he wants to use, but in the mean time he would stick to expanding his vocabulary in ways that wouldn't get me called to the principles office regularly
So I had just finished planting the rest of my plants in the garden which took my a while longer than expected but whatever. Anyway, the boys were of course out there helping me and Ethan piped up with
"That's a damn fine good looking garden you got there Mama."
Why yes, yes it is.....however.....
"Thank you son. I agree with you. It is a damn fine good looking garden but I don't think that is a word someone of your age and size should be using. Do you think that you could find a way to say that, that is a little more appropriate?"
He pauses to think and you can see he is really trying.
"Hmmm..... I think the garden looks really nice?????"
"Very good" :)
We agreed that when he gets to be a bit taller he can try using that word again to see if its something he wants to use, but in the mean time he would stick to expanding his vocabulary in ways that wouldn't get me called to the principles office regularly
Aparently I missed this one in nursery school
I love when I think that I know the ways of the world and my children remind me that there is an infinite world of possibilities that exist and I can learn something new everyday. Take for example the little piggy rhyme. You know the one that you use your little toes for. "This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home. This little piggy had roast beef, this little piggy had none. And this little piggy cried WEE WEE WEE all the way home." This is the way that I always thought it went. I now stand corrected. Ethan asked me to do the little piggy song on his toes and after my rendition as previously stated he says "Mom, that sounded nice but I don't think that is the way that it really goes" by which I responded with probably a little more 'tude than was necessary when conversing with a 5 year old, "Oh really"
"Yep. I will tell you the way that it goes."
He clears his throat and grabs at my feet to use as example piggies.
"This little piggy lived at the farm, this little piggy went to the grocery market. This little piggy wished he could go to the store with his big brother but he wouldn't let him because he wanted some alone time, this little piggy had tuna fish sandwiches. And the baby little piggy liked to visit the zoo"
He then asked me how I liked his version and if we should make that the new way of saying it all the time and I of course agreed. Tuna fish sandwiches are so much better than roast beef and who doesn't like to visit the zoo? Like I said....learn something new every day.
"Yep. I will tell you the way that it goes."
He clears his throat and grabs at my feet to use as example piggies.
"This little piggy lived at the farm, this little piggy went to the grocery market. This little piggy wished he could go to the store with his big brother but he wouldn't let him because he wanted some alone time, this little piggy had tuna fish sandwiches. And the baby little piggy liked to visit the zoo"
He then asked me how I liked his version and if we should make that the new way of saying it all the time and I of course agreed. Tuna fish sandwiches are so much better than roast beef and who doesn't like to visit the zoo? Like I said....learn something new every day.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Warning: Graphic attention to poop and profanity
Ye have been warned. This one is loaded so if my title didn't scare you off and the promise of underage swearing doesn't sway you, then you might be in for the laugh of your day. It certainly was mine.
It's been cold and snowy for a while here on "the bench" and therefore I have let the doggy doo duty slide a little (ok a lot) and it had really "piled" up. (Bear with me, the poo puns really are endless and well..... I have no shame) Caleb was begging to go play outside and I had been putting him off because I knew that there was no way I was going to let loose the master of all that is clumsy and gross into a backyard full of shite. After he had adorned his self with plaid shorts, green and black horizontally striped shirt, orange hoody complete with baseball cap underneath said hood, my pink fuzzy socks and his blue and teal snow boots, he proceeded to "promise mama whole lot I know step in poo" It was nice outside and I had really no excuse not to go outside with my children other than I had gotten a spur in my saddle and was organizing the shoe and coat catastrophe in the living room corner. Good mama won. I got on my chartreuse coat and clogs and headed for the back door. I have no idea where my children get their sense of fashion.
Picking up dog poop has just got to be the grossest freaking thing on the planet and this is coming from a mother of 3 boys. I love our dog but I tell ya if there was a way to not have clean up her crap all the time, there is not much I wouldn't pay. The only thing grosser than picking it up with a shovel is scraping it off #2's brand new running shoes he got for his birthday. So baby in one arm and shovel in the other hand, I order Numero Uno to grab the poop bucket and off we went. I have a really bad habit of letting my mouth get a little filthy when I am upset or stressed or I am trying to be funny because.... I think swearing is funny, and well in the steaming heat of the moment I gasped out something that I tried to conceal under my breath but sounded a lot like "Ugh, I hate dog $%#@" I should know better than to hope that would go un-noticed and un-mimicked so how it caught me by surprise when a few minutes later Ethan admired the size, shape and color of Layla's after math with a "Holy crap that is a lot of shit!" I will never know, but unfortunately.... I find swearing really funny and I couldn't help but bust out laughing. Which of course encouraged Batman's faithful side kick to pipe in dancing around like lord of the poop flies complete with every aspiring artists wardrobe of choice singing "whole lot of shit, whole lot of shit" It just went all down hill from there because apparently the baby being even more like his mother than a 7 month old should be, busted out laughing as well. So for the recap, I have taught my number one son to swear like a sailor, Caleb "thinks he can dance" and it looks like I can count on my infant to be in my corner the next time I go on one of my "Mommy's worst moments revealed"
It's been cold and snowy for a while here on "the bench" and therefore I have let the doggy doo duty slide a little (ok a lot) and it had really "piled" up. (Bear with me, the poo puns really are endless and well..... I have no shame) Caleb was begging to go play outside and I had been putting him off because I knew that there was no way I was going to let loose the master of all that is clumsy and gross into a backyard full of shite. After he had adorned his self with plaid shorts, green and black horizontally striped shirt, orange hoody complete with baseball cap underneath said hood, my pink fuzzy socks and his blue and teal snow boots, he proceeded to "promise mama whole lot I know step in poo" It was nice outside and I had really no excuse not to go outside with my children other than I had gotten a spur in my saddle and was organizing the shoe and coat catastrophe in the living room corner. Good mama won. I got on my chartreuse coat and clogs and headed for the back door. I have no idea where my children get their sense of fashion.
Picking up dog poop has just got to be the grossest freaking thing on the planet and this is coming from a mother of 3 boys. I love our dog but I tell ya if there was a way to not have clean up her crap all the time, there is not much I wouldn't pay. The only thing grosser than picking it up with a shovel is scraping it off #2's brand new running shoes he got for his birthday. So baby in one arm and shovel in the other hand, I order Numero Uno to grab the poop bucket and off we went. I have a really bad habit of letting my mouth get a little filthy when I am upset or stressed or I am trying to be funny because.... I think swearing is funny, and well in the steaming heat of the moment I gasped out something that I tried to conceal under my breath but sounded a lot like "Ugh, I hate dog $%#@" I should know better than to hope that would go un-noticed and un-mimicked so how it caught me by surprise when a few minutes later Ethan admired the size, shape and color of Layla's after math with a "Holy crap that is a lot of shit!" I will never know, but unfortunately.... I find swearing really funny and I couldn't help but bust out laughing. Which of course encouraged Batman's faithful side kick to pipe in dancing around like lord of the poop flies complete with every aspiring artists wardrobe of choice singing "whole lot of shit, whole lot of shit" It just went all down hill from there because apparently the baby being even more like his mother than a 7 month old should be, busted out laughing as well. So for the recap, I have taught my number one son to swear like a sailor, Caleb "thinks he can dance" and it looks like I can count on my infant to be in my corner the next time I go on one of my "Mommy's worst moments revealed"
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